I forgot to write everything about what happened last feb 2,one of which i considered to be the loneliest days of my life. that was the day when tito estong,tita fe,amabel,lean and isay left for Washington. 4 days had already passed but im still in a hot n cold state of the mind. im so glad knowing that they will never suffer from the demon hands of the philippine politics and governance;yet so sad for i will never be,nor spend my every episode of life with them. Today,im settling at their house.But oh!silence kills me!Every corner of this used-to-be-happy home reminds me of isay's teary-eyed laughter,sweet aroma of amabel's freshly baked banana muffins and the sound of lean's Bella's lullaby piano version. i sleep with no one beside me. i wake up without tita fe's voice saying,"hey eat your breakfast. i already toasted the bread for you! i go home from the night duty without tito estong and tumbi fetching me up from the hospital. its just that i miss my daily routine with them as a part of it. i do hope God understands why im always asking Him,"Lord,what is your plan for me? Why do you always want me to be alone?". and i cant understand why He granted my family's us visa approval at the time when my sisters were already grown-ups. Anyway,this is life.Life will never be life if there's no mysterious questions scattered around. But behind this agony,i still have many reasons to smile. I have bry,ate,kuya,diko,dad,alexa and ina. And i know there's always a perfect time for everything especially a time for me to live with my special love ones forever. while on a bus to pampanga,i was typing this.